I Married Someone Else’s Husband

Yeah, you read that right. I know, I know..what in the world???? Read it again..I Married Someone Else’s Husband. True story.  Now that I have your attention, let me explain.  Growing up, my idea of marriage was you find a man who can simply do what you say, take care of you and give you beautiful children. Needless to say, I didn’t get much else out of that lesson. My daddy told me that when you meet your person..you would just KNOW. Hmmm..that sounded interesting but hey I couldn’t measure a feeling, right? I got married in 1997, to a wonderful man who loved my son and me dearly.  I sucked at being his wife. Why? Because he wasn’t MY person. Simple as that. We separated and eventually divorced in 2000 and he has since remarried and has beautiful children. I spent several years blaming myself for all of it and then one day it occurred to me “I married someone else’s husband”.  You see a marriage is way more that a legal documents and last name changes (at least it should be).  It’s not the size of the house you buy, the cars you drive or the vacations you can afford to take.  A real marriage connects two spirits in such a way that they are willing to weather even storms together.  You “feel” one another, even when your other is not around. You want to be better than you were yesterday.  You need their presence way more than their financial statement. The love you share (yes share) just IS. I know for a fact my ex didn’t have that in me nor I in him. In essence he wasn’t MY husband. He was hers. I just married him first.  As the evolution of me continues, I find myself amazed at the woman I have become and even sometimes feeling sorry for the woman I used to be because I know she still exists in so many women all around the world.  We think that in order for something to be right and good it has to be tangible but it doesn’t. Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Happily ever after is exactly what you make it.  PERIOD.  Fear will make you second guess every good thing that already exists in you. Fear will rob you blind and even make you think someone else did that TO YOU. Truth is our misery, our losses, are often self-induced because we ignore what our spirit is trying to tell us.  As I write this I wonder why it took me so long to just GET this…hmmmm..still growing up I guess. It is easy to believe that people are malicious and they only want to destroy us…more often than not this isn’t the case. Most of us are just wandering through life bumping into one another trying to find something that fits (for now).  If you find yourself in that place..stop, step back and breathe slowly. Let it all just come into focus, let your heart’s desire be free to find its way to your happily ever after. Don’t try to control that which wasn’t designed for you to navigate. Trust and believe that your Husband, your Wife, your Person is out there waiting for you to find them too.  And as my daddy said…The rest is JUST details.  ~Be Blessed, K




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