In My Spirit

Confession: I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt the way I am right now…disconnected from my own spirit, my higher self. Somehow disenchanted from what I know to be true, that God loves me..even now when I have doubted him.
Life is filled with peaks and valleys. Friends call us in their time of need and when we are in that connected “good” place we can offer some amazing advice (I have even stopped to write down some of the things I have said because they were so phenomenal). We take pride in sharing the goodness of God, His unwavering love and undeniable mercy.  We let them cry on our shoulders when they feel all is lost. We pray with them, we pray for them and we constantly reassure our loved ones that even in the valley moment their breakthrough is right upon them if they can just hold on.  But what happens when it’s you? When you have been a good friend, the voice a reason and the walking talking testimony of faith? On that day when just about everything fell apart and you feel so set aside by even God himself. Now I know someone out there is thinking “what in the world are you talking about?” My answer is simple…keep living.  I have watched people if questionable motives achieve big things. I have seen innocent children abused. I am aware of women who have children they don’t want while other women are barren and wish for an opportunity to be a mother. So much broken-ness. And while I know that the righteous are never forsaken, my head knows that, but my heart and my spirit feel worn and tired. I wonder am I the only one?

I have been directed to many scriptures as proof that no matter how bad things seem..GOD is able and willing to bring us through (yea though I walk THROUGH the valley..Psalm 23). Are we not good Christians if we fear the evil? If we worry about the destruction of our families? When we cry out in pain and cannot find the peace within? Is it wrong to want to have our feelings understood without questioning our beliefs?

It is my prayer that these disconnected moments are few and far between for every single one of you. It is also my prayer that you find a human connection that provides a window, a way back. If you know someone who is going through the valley, stand for day you may need someone to stand in the gap for you. In the meantime, be blessed and be a blessing!


4 comments on “In My Spirit

  1. Awesome post and excellent question. All these feelings are common. If we didn’t have them we wouldn’t have a reason to really pray and what would bring us into closer relationship. The key is allowing the power of your faith to help lift you out! 🙂 Thanks for the post!

    ~Shalonda ‘Treasure’ Williams

  2. Excellent post! I believe at times, more often than not, we feel alone in the great big, cold sometimes even vicious world Especially when the going is rough. But, as Christians what we have to remember that we find strength in numbers! There are times where we cannot walk this walk alone and we need our brothers and sisters to help us out. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 10:24-25 …..And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Meaning WE need each other. I’m reminded of the song by Hezekiah Walker, I Need You to Survive!! The lyrics simply say..I need you, you need me, we’re all apart of God’s body…..You are important to me, I NEED YOU TO SURVIVE….I pray for you, you pray for me..I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU TO SURVIVE. Of course, I was paraphrasing but I say that to say that you NEED to surround yourself around believers who believe the same as you and who can lift you when you are down and help you walk when you are weak. You can’t do it by yourself!! That’s what we are here for!! My sister continue to trust in God, you may not understand Him but, yet trust Him! You may not always be able to see Him but, yet still follow Him! This journey is not easy!! Lord knows I know and this race is not given to the swift……but time and chance happenth to them all!! I love you, I need you to survive!! not only physically, I need your spirit to survive! I need your hope to survive!! I need your love to survive!! You will make it through, WE will make it through!! In those times of disconnect get into church or wherever you may worship as soon as possible! Don’t delay!! Sometimes we need a jump and that’s where you can connect your battery cable directly to the power source to get that POWER you need to make it through!! As always I am praying for you and your family and YOU WILL MAKE IT!!

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