Confession: I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt the way I am right now…disconnected from my own spirit, my higher self. Somehow disenchanted from what I know to be true, that God loves me..even now when I have doubted him.
Life is filled with peaks and valleys. Friends call us in their time of need and when we are in that connected “good” place we can offer some amazing advice (I have even stopped to write down some of the things I have said because they were so phenomenal). We take pride in sharing the goodness of God, His unwavering love and undeniable mercy. We let them cry on our shoulders when they feel all is lost. We pray with them, we pray for them and we constantly reassure our loved ones that even in the valley moment their breakthrough is right upon them if they can just hold on. But what happens when it’s you? When you have been a good friend, the voice a reason and the walking talking testimony of faith? On that day when just about everything fell apart and you feel so set aside by even God himself. Now I know someone out there is thinking “what in the world are you talking about?” My answer is simple…keep living. I have watched people if questionable motives achieve big things. I have seen innocent children abused. I am aware of women who have children they don’t want while other women are barren and wish for an opportunity to be a mother. So much broken-ness. And while I know that the righteous are never forsaken, my head knows that, but my heart and my spirit feel worn and tired. I wonder am I the only one?
I have been directed to many scriptures as proof that no matter how bad things seem..GOD is able and willing to bring us through (yea though I walk THROUGH the valley..Psalm 23). Are we not good Christians if we fear the evil? If we worry about the destruction of our families? When we cry out in pain and cannot find the peace within? Is it wrong to want to have our feelings understood without questioning our beliefs?
It is my prayer that these disconnected moments are few and far between for every single one of you. It is also my prayer that you find a human connection that provides a window, a way back. If you know someone who is going through the valley, stand for them..one day you may need someone to stand in the gap for you. In the meantime, be blessed and be a blessing!