Gossip Girls, Backstabbers, Haters, She Said….They Said

I would love to say that this is truly a NON ISSUE but truth is ladies…IT ISN’T! In my lifetime I have witnessed so many friendships, relationships and even whole families torn apart behind malicious gossiping and “half truths”. The question I pose to you today is why? Why is it that when someone comes to us with “oh girl you won’t believe what I heard” or “girl, I got to tell you what they said about you” we never find the strength to calmly go talk to the person being sited as the “she” with the problem? How many times have you been minding your own busy just to be ambushed by someone with a story to tell?  And how many times has the news totally disrupted that good feeling you were having? I am raising my hand because I have always thought of myself as a pretty easy person to get along with. You know funny, friendly and glad to help. I am not a the type of woman who gets all heartfelt when perfect strangers take issue with me but when someone I care about does…that’s another story. Question is: should it be?  What if I found my way to the person..my sister, my friend, cousin, co worker and simply asked “hey, what’s going on? Did I do something to offend you? Is it true you are feeling some kinda way about me?” I would like to believe that we are adult enough to at least have a conversation with someone we once shared our secrets with. I know we have all heard the term “Hater” and we have pretty much bought right into the idea that there are spies all around each and every one of us hating on everything we do. Some people in our lives have proven that concept to be true. But let me ask you…have you ever been the person being accused of HATERISM? Has something you said been repeated and twisted into something ugly? Would it had made any difference if your friend had come to you and asked instead believing what someone else told her instead? I know it would have made a world of difference to me. So I ask you…who’s really the hater? From where I am standing, when we give the messenger all the credit for being the honest, upstanding citizen and never offer the same courtesy to the other party we are, in fact, HATING ON OURSELVES! Popular belief isn’t always equivalent to truth and as we take steps to change the idea that women can’t get along, don’t care about one another and are in a never ending competition…we must first change how we see ourselves in the grand scope of things. ~Your Sista, My Sista, iSista!

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