From Member: OK ladies, before we start this topic let me be the first to say I have been on both sides of this scenario and I would like for us to open mindly share all aspects. I know this one can get heated. Like I said I been the “wifey” who got cheated on and I have been the “HER!” who was on the sideline trying to be in the spotlight. I will be the first to say neither position is an easy one to be in. I could defend my actions by saying that in the beginning of the relationship I was not made aware that the starting position was already taken. But then the question becomes “but when you found out why did you stay” so I won’t bother to do that. The other woman, I have found, lives a sad and unfulfilling existence. She knows that she isn’t right. She knows that she has to appear invisible. She hates only because she longs for the time, attention and respect she cannot dare demand. It’s not the wife or girlfriend that she despises. It is, however, loneliness that she fears. As the wifey, I am appauled that you dare enter my life and try to tear apart what i have. As the “other” I am angry that you have what should be mine. I have worked too hard to make them happy. I stay available, I answer the calls, I run the errands, I wait up late, Get up early. I keep my hair in that style, I wear those shoes they love while you get to sit around all comfy and do nothing. As the wife, I have built them up from nothing. Wiped their tears, cleaned their noses, had the kids, took care of his mama. I was here when you weren’t. You have no idea!
What do u do when you end up here? Who is at fault? Can this be saved?