The “Other” Woman

From Member: OK ladies, before we start this topic let me be the first to say I have been on both sides of this scenario and I would like for us to open mindly share all aspects. I know this one can get heated. Like I said I been the “wifey” who got cheated on and I have been the “HER!” who was on the sideline trying to be in the spotlight. I will be the first to say neither position is an easy one to be in. I could defend my actions by saying that in the beginning of the relationship I was not made aware that the starting position was already taken. But then the question becomes “but when you found out why did you stay” so I won’t bother to do that. The other woman, I have found, lives a sad and unfulfilling existence. She knows that she isn’t right. She knows that she has to appear invisible. She hates only because she longs for the time, attention and respect she cannot dare demand. It’s not the wife or girlfriend that she despises. It is, however, loneliness that she fears. As the wifey, I am appauled that you dare enter my life and try to tear apart what i have. As the “other” I am angry that you have what should be mine. I have worked too hard to make them happy. I stay available, I answer the calls, I run the errands, I wait up late, Get up early. I keep my hair in that style, I wear those shoes they love while you get to sit around all comfy and do nothing. As the wife, I have built them up from nothing. Wiped their tears, cleaned their noses, had the kids, took care of his mama. I was here when you weren’t. You have no idea!

What do u do when you end up here? Who is at fault? Can this be saved?

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5 comments on “The “Other” Woman

  1. Simple: walk away as the other woman he’s not yours to have and as the wife it will be hard to trust him……do what I did and just “walk away” its hard but not impossible to do…never allow a man or individual make you forgot “your woman’s worth”

  2. Who is at fault? The man. He’s the one that got the side chick and wasn’t straight up until after feelings developed. He’s the one that has wifey and still trickin on the side. I know as women we blame each other. I was the “other” and I HATED this woman I didn’t know, still do even tho he and I are no more, because he was so in love with her and so dedicated to her and so ga ga over her and I was there loving him. For nada

  3. Being a woman that is infected with HIV because my man, husband and now ex-husband who chose to share himself and is gift of HIV with many, many other women and me, I often sit back and look at the mistakes that I made and educate other girls and women on the issue of yours and his/her loving of someone else and how it can impact your life. Read my story on my new developed webpage at http://www.girlucandoit.org. B’Cause I Care About U, is why I do what I do. Andrea Johnson

  4. Regardless of how you view it the man would initially take the blame. Blame for not informing the sideline that there is already a main. However at some point fault may be on all parties. The wife for ignoring the signs or allowing it due to dependency issues or the age old adage “I won’t let her have the person I created. Forming this vessel into the perfect partner only to let the next reap the benefits.” Then the side is many times aware when you can’t reach he/she at odd times. You can never go to their house or family events. Not to mention the side chicks who know there is a main and simply dont care. Treating the exchange of sex as some type of public service. You know the lines “she can’t do what I can, or I got skills.” B.S. people treat you how you allow them to treat you. Trying to ignore the obvious, committing the act, or making the decision to sleep with an involved person are all wrong.

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