Ladies, Are We Raised to Love Freely?

I grew up in a single parent household. Women make up the majority of the role models in my family. Growing up, I always admired their “strength” to not let a man come in and “tell them what to do”. My grandmother, mother, aunts and adult cousins all worked hard and paid their own way. Men were more like a great arm piece or a source for additional income. From my perspective..they were SO strong. I don’t remember ever seeing them cater to man as the song says. I would hear “oh she just weak..letting him tell her what to do..he put his pants on just like I do” if a friend or acquaintance suffered a bad break up or took back a man who hurt them. I was taught that isn’t what strong women do.  I was a child of the 70s and the women’s movement was in full swing. Strong women brought home the bacon AND fried it up in a pan. If a man was in your life he better have money and he better behave or he simply had to go. So it leads me to ask…are we raised to love freely?  Now don’t get me wrong I love the determination, drive and passion of independence but is it so wrong to desire being held and loved? To not have to have all the answers, all the time? To feel a sense of loss when things go wrong and to want to work at having a healthy balance between yourself and your chosen mate? Is it really weak to ask your significant other’s opinion and respect his/her position when making life decisions?  I was married, then divorced and I am here to tell you getting divorced isn’t fun.  The expectation (at least in my family) is that you do what you have to and put your feelings in your back pocket. What I must admit is my back pockets were so full of feelings, my jeans were waaayyy too tight.  The greatest tragedy is when you can’t say to the women you love and admire the most “I am hurt, I am afraid, I don’t know what I am going to do” without the fear that you will be considered one of those “weak” women you’ve heard about time and time again. Love means being vulnerable…being vulnerable will sometimes lead to being hurt or caught “off guard” but all love is worth the journey.  When I found the courage to love again I discovered a strength I never knew and I want to share it with the world…. Strong women LOVE hard and even when we fall..WE GET BACK UP AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN! 

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