I have always been really selfconscious about my weight. I never tell guys but I always worry. I think over the years I have gotten better, but there are times when a guy will say take it all off and I flinch. I have dated some very nice looking men but the feeling is still the same. Is he gonna not want me when he sees what I am hiding under all these clothes? Is he gonna be rude when I take my clothes off? Am I ready to deal with the embarrassment? The answer is always the same “HELL TO THE NO!!!”
I just started dating this guy and I know he’s the one for me but you know how you have that second thought in the back of your mind telling you something bad is going to happen? Yeah I have been doing everything possible to run him away. I have just come up with one thing or another to make him go away but he’s still here.
So back to the weight thing…..he asked me to take a full picture of me and I said okay but never did it. He was getting upset but I just couldn’t do it. Why was it so hard? Because I didn’t want him to notice that I’m a plus size woman. Now go ahead and say it. If he’s seen me once he knows I’m plus size but that smart thought didn’t register in my mind. I just went back to the old way of thinking. Is he gonna be like “Oh no she’s fat!” Which again I say is dumb but that’s how I think. So I waited until the next day and I texted him about my self conscious thoughts.
Two days pasted and then he says “Who told you I like skinny girls?” Of course I forgot about the message so I’m like what are you talking about. He then references the text and I felt like damn I was hoping we were going to have to talk about this. He then begins to say (while my mind is wondering how bad is this going to get?), if you have a problem with your weight then let’s join a gym or go walking. He says we can do something about it if it is bothering you. I was lost for words. Did he just say that? Am I watch “Why did I get married?” Am I being set up? Who knows I think about that part of the movie all the time? And as all these things run through my mind, he is sitting there patiently waiting for me to respond.
I thought I was going to cry. A man who is really thinking about me? Who is willing to help me with my flaws even if they are my own and does not bother him? What prayer did I say that made me this lucky? I have no idea but I am more than grateful that God heard me and sent me him!!